In preparation for the event I created tantalizing flyers and distributed them at all social/educational/political gatherings I went to for two weeks prior. I emailed my entire email list, posted on myspace and Olyblog, and personally invited friends. We had a great turn-out of about 25 people.
Margaritte and I also did a radio interview before the event with the Radical Freeschool Radio Show (see link on sidebar). We talked about our vision for a world free from industrial agriculture, about how to work with nature in designing human resource support-systems, and how to build a long term connection with place as a radical act against the capitalist patriarchy. Talking on the radio really helped me think through my ideas and gain confidence in my ability to speak articulately and passionately. I went into the event on Wednesday feeling stronger because of it.
I also spent a lot of time re-reading all my notes from the training and researching seed balls, which we led as a hands-on activity at the report-back. See previous blog entry for my seed ball research.
I am including a group email which I sent out to my fellow members of the Earth Activist Training because it shows my thinking around how important the step of sharing my knowledge was for my personal growth. And I share the letter specifically, because it too was an act of personal growth in a similar way to the report back.
Hey my dear magic permaculturist friends!
I have been thinking about you all lots since our
training, and meaning to write to you! As many of you
know, Margaritte and I are doing independent study
this term at Evergreen, and EAT was the beginning of
our term. We have continued learning about nature,
awareness, community, and connection to place since
then. As part of our program, last week we gave a
public two hour event to share what we learned at EAT!
We had a great turn out of at least 25 people! I
wanted to tell you all about it because the experience
of sharing this knowledge with my community at home
was very powerful. It really brought all the new
knowledge into the forefront of my life and gave me
something to immediately apply it to: teaching! I
was, of course, scared out of my wits! But, it went
well anyway! Both Margaritte and I have received tons
of gratitude from friends and folks who attended who
say they understand permaculture better than before,
and feel more hopeful about creating change.
For me, going to EAT was a major act of stepping into
my power. In areas I often feel powerless (like
changing the world, my relationships, and my
relationship to nature), I took charge and decided to
live in the reality of how influential I am. Teaching
the report-back for my local community was even more
of an act of magic in living my power. Though I
doubted my ability to be interesting, intelligent, and
clear, I did it anyway! We taught about observation,
patterns, and basic permaculture concepts, as well as
sang songs from EAT, gave a slideshow, and did a seed
ball making project!
I want to encourage any of you who may be feeling a
little listless after the training--perhaps feeling
like "what was it all for?" or just stuck in the
routine of everyday life and feeling the burden of the
oppressive society hanging over you--Share your
knowledge! Even though we are not experts in this
area (yet), we have skills and an experience of
learning about change in a magical learning community,
and that is so valuable to other people!
In my process I am learning about my own significance,
which is part of the act of this email I am writing to
you all. Keeping you all in my life by sharing about
my ongoing experiences and learning pushes me to be
bigger than I have previously been comfortable with.
How can you be bigger in your life than is
comfortable?
You all are a dear dear group of people; I am
immensely glad to have been through EAT with you, and
I look forward to many more experiences building a
just, vibrant world with each of you!
Loves,
Heron
I have gotten lots of feedback from participants, which has helped me reflect on what I learned from the experience. We passed out feedback forms, which got great responses such as these answers to "What did you learn from the report back?": "People want similar things," and "healing the land and ourselves is easy." These answers point to a key desire of mine to lift up my fellow people from the despair which so easily plagues us and help us feel something good about our world and our power.
One friend said to us "You are like a lightning rod for this community." Wow! Another friend specifically appreciated the way that Margaritte and I worked together in presenting information. He noticed how Margaritte had the knack for giving detailed stories and examples, and my skill at tying the details in with the bigger picture to show overall themes and concepts. I noticed that dynamic in our presenting as well, and it was nice to hear that it was a good thing. I was worried about it being a problem!
But not all feedback was sugar-coated. One friend commented that the whole thing felt like an infomercial for EAT. He said there wasn't enough specific learning, and we talked too vaguely about things that felt like an inside experience. I think he wanted more skills-building. When prompted he said that he did learn a lot from the discussion on patterns and observation, and the seedballs project. That feedback was hard to hear, mostly because I already carry so much self-criticism inside that I battle all the time. It is hard to hear things that reflect a little of that self-criticism, because it always sounds worse from that lens than the person actually intended it.
It took me several days of suffering under my own negative blabbing about how embarrassed I was and how I would never set foot out of the house again to realize that the event was actually spectacular. Sure, we could use some improvement, but so can most teachers. I am taking the stance of appreciating all the courage it took to put myself out there. Specifically, I think we did great at advance curriculum planing, and at pulling in people's inspiration and ideas during the event by getting group brainstorms and giving people a chance to share a little bit of themselves. I liked how we planed the event with the awareness of balance around hands-on, lecture, and discussion. We pulled out the juicy pieces from the training.
Things I think could be improved: I didn't think about being true to the flier in the material presented at the report back. I put on the flier "regenerative activism," but when someone asked a question about it, I realized I felt awkward addressing it and like I didn't really know what I was talking about. Also, I think we could've used some help with transitions. And often I felt like I didn't have everything planned with margaritte. Would it have worked better to be even more separate in our presentations? I sometimes felt a sense of panic at being perceived as boring, and when Margaritte was talking I didn't have the control; I was scared margaritte was going to be boring. In reality I know this isn't the case, so maybe the answer is just to feel the feeling and focus on relaxing.
Honestly, though, I think that ease and interest in teaching comes with practice and that is the key to improving on this skill. I think that the act of sharing this information in whatever way is radical and I am so glad to push myself headfirst into my own BIG LIFE!
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